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I slip into my routine, we chat, start making out, get into bed and start stripping down. It’s animalistic, the way men breathe as they’re nearing violence.A couple of months ago, a month or so out of a relationship, I returned to that great African savannah of sexuality otherwise known as Grindr. It’s like Tinder for gay men, though while at times the approaches come with a directness, and obnoxiousness that would make Donald Trump blush.Venus, by comparison, is a warm and hospitable place of social interaction and empathy, but not a great deal of sex. Every time he meets a woman, he weighs her up as a potential sexual partner, and, he thinks, other men do the same.

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We did catch up and had a perfectly pleasant and mutually satisfying meet up at his apartment.

I was once asked out of the blue “Would you please do a poo on me NOW.” Lordy, lordy.

For the record, in the same way that some guys on Tinder are friggin horrible, gay platforms like Grindr can be as unpleasant or as rewarding as you make them.

Men, we know, are from Mars, and women are from Venus.

Mars, in this metaphor, is a place of carnal obsession and emotional autism; a planet whose inhabitants think about sex every seven seconds and get in fights all the time. “Sex comes into every evaluation of a woman, there’s no doubt about it,” he said in an interview last week.

I know it's normal to be who you are gay or straight but I KNOW I'M INTO WOMEN which is the reason I'm so confused....

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