I feed her once a day, clean the litter several times a week and return her occasional affection. I blame my maternal deficiencies in part on the fact that I was the family princess while growing up.
Maybe I'm giving my parents purpose, or maybe I'm lazy and self—absorbed—not exactly qualities that make a person fit for taking on a child. He and his wife divorced when Noah was 1 year old, and we began dating shortly after. For a while, I could be just me, the same me I'd always been. Our relationship moved quickly; one minute, we were courting over meaningful conversation and too many glasses of wine, and the next, we were spending our Friday nights playing Chutes and Ladders and pleading with a 2-year-old to eat his green beans.
We all moved in together a year ago—Bob and I full-time, Noah every other weekend and Wednesdays overnight.Go ice skating, take a day hike, visit the zoo or attend a sporting event.Activities such as those offer low-pressure ways of becoming acquainted with each other.Before Noah, I had very little experience with children. At 33, I haven't yet decided against children, but I can't picture having them, either. (Mostly for my mom.) I've just never been a person who sees a baby and reaches for it. Home for the holidays, I'll lie about and let my mom whip up grilled cheese and stitch loose buttons, while my dad busies himself fixing the rattle in my car. This has seemed to satisfy any maternal instincts I might have. Even in adulthood, I still settle back into childhood whenever I'm so indulged.You may consider bringing the child a small gift to show your good will and sincere interest in him, such as baseball cards for a collector or new crayons for an aspiring artist.